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It was clear to me that he wasn’t really that interested in a serious thing with any of the girls at the bar that night. But why the cold shoulder, from a brother I’d never met?Why the unique snub reserved for the one fat girl in the crew? When I look in the mirror, for the most part, I like what I see.

Now I never thought I’d find my prince charming in a club. So no matter how much Big Boi proclaimed back in 2003 that “Big Girls need love, too,” I don’t think the other ATLiens got the message.

And of course there is that story of the time that Crunkadelic and I went to one of those Big Beautiful Women parties.

So posts like this make folks uncomfortable, often leading to three kinds of reactionary (and unhelpful) comments. Even though we all have insecurities, self-confidence is not my major struggle.

The first will be from those folks who insist that I must really have low self-esteem about my weight and that it must be coming through to the dudes I’m meeting. The only way to live in my body, doing the work I do, is to be confident.

I know that we have huge problems with obesity in Black communities.