Andre’s case was misfortunate because he had a particularly direct communication style and his ex-girlfriend had a particularly indirect communication style. When Charles, a British guy, met her, he immediately liked her. A few days later, Charles sent her a message: ‘Hey, let’s go out again sometime.’ To this, she politely replied, ‘No thanks.’ Her lack of interest wasn’t the only problem. Some of these restaurants are managed by Japanese-Indian couples.
James is a British man who is said to have slept with more than 100 Japanese women. She was a rock musician but she dressed very nicely. Charles didn’t speak much Japanese, and she didn’t speak any English at all. (I know this because the Japanese wives tend to be very friendly and often talk to me.) Danuja, a Sri Lankan man who has lived in Japan for 11 years, had two long-term relationships with Japanese girls prior to his current Japanese girlfriend. They became friends first and it took six months for them to start dating.
While this is largely a pleasant experience, Frank sometimes wants her to have opinions. Sometimes, he wants to do something for her, but he doesn’t really know what she wants.
On the other hand, Frank thinks that her non-confrontational, laid-back nature can work well for their relationship.
Andre talked to his friend about what had happened. It turned out that she had never had any intention of having a boyfriend: she just wanted to have sex. Kenny, a Canadian man, met a lot of Japanese women in Tokyo who showed intense interest in him. ‘When I went out to clubs, it was like shooting fish in a barrel.’ Kenny didn’t mention that he was married (to a Japanese woman) and looking for sexual intimacy that his marriage didn’t provide.