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In rape cases across America, conservative statistics paint the picture clearly: 74% of rapes are committed by people the victims knew; 47% of rapes involve both parties drinking.

20% of rapes involved only the perpetrator drinking. So, staying at a friend’s apartment because the trains have stopped and you’re both drunk should be something a normal person could expect to do safely, but the stats say otherwise.

Luckily, men and women usually have some overlap in the cultural norms of dating: Chivalry, in the west.

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If you’re rolling around in your own bed with a girl and she says it’s time to go to sleep, shut up and go to sleep.

The Culture A study of rape-prone fraternities conducted at UPenn – which knows a few things about the subject – suggests the following formula: “The level of the perceived male peer support system for exploiting women through alcohol, plus the amount of alcohol actually consumed by men when they drink, are the primary predictors of whether they will report themselves as sexual victimizers of women.” In other words, if your friends agree that getting a girl drunk is an acceptable form of seduction, and your friends paradoxically believe that you are not responsible for the things you do while drinking, then you are more likely to get women drunk and coerce them into saying yes.

Coupled with the weird emotional minefield of expat anxiety and the match up of non-communicative, sexually aggressive Japanese women with inexperienced male dorks who “learn” to be aggressive in return, and you don’t have to be paranoid to see that this situation is prone to coercion, harassment and disaster. Maybe your definition of rape isn’t the same as mine, but I’m not interested in that discussion.

Rapists never consider what they’ve done to be rape.

Verbal coercion, drinking with the intent of “pulling out a yes,” emotional manipulation, etc, all qualify.