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—was left tied to his coffee table for twenty hours by 17-year-old twins he met through Seeking Arrangement.

He was rescued eventually, but while the twins got what they came for, poor Paul never did.

He went to some of the best colleges and grad schools. Just ask his ex-wife—even she wouldn't say a bad word about him.

But you know how it is, the fires dampen, and he wanted a lot of sex—“I'm Italian! ”—and eventually they divorced, and Thurston wanted something, mainly a lot of sex without having to beg for it, and to be found attractive again.

Most of the girls there weren't pretty like her, and they'd make fun of her, saying, “What are you doing here, princess? Kitten says that it isn't always about sex: There were some nebbishy men (and some women; she's sugar-dated both) who just wanted companionship.