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Here’s the psychology of what I think happens: once you’ve been late or missed an appointment for reasons beyond your control, your brain has to make a choice: “I’m flaky so I’m a bad person” vs.

“Flakiness is okay.” To avoid cognitive dissonance, the unconscious choice that most people make is to validate the unintended bad behavior.

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The higher energy required for making a date means that it happens less often. Transportation challenges make even the best-intentioned people flaky.

Traffic in LA is unpredictable; as a result, even the best-intentioned people end up being late more often than they wish.

Showing up late, not showing up at all and breaking promises can then become the norm.

When that happens enough times to enough people, you end up in a legendarily flaky city, and social and dating life encounter more obstacles. The transience of the city’s entertainment culture adds an aura of impermanence and unreliability to social ties.

That casual contact is missing in LA, because we spend a lot of time in our wheeled steel cages.

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