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Ironically, you’re not really bothered by any specific ex-lovers in your partner’s past at all; you’re afraid of what they represent.

Intellectually, you know they’re no longer on the scene, but the reason why they appear to be a threat is because they are the people who your mind has latched on to as representations of its worst fear.

For example, I once viewed Emma’s sexual behavior before she met me as promiscuous, but I also questioned her choice of sexual partner during this phase in her life as well.