So there really is no hard and fast rule here – but there are some things you should think about before getting more deeply involved with someone in recovery.
And if you do decide to date someone with a history of drug or alcohol use, there are a number of signs you must watch out for in order to make sure your new partner is living up to his or her promises of sobriety.
He or she is simply looking for their next “fix.” How do you know the difference between being ready and looking for your next fix? Otherwise, these areas of emotional and behavioral unrest need to be resolved first, before you’re ready. They want to talk to you, maybe they even want to kiss you at the end of the night. WHen you meet up with someone for the purpose of getting to know you, and vice versus, you have to try and remove the romantic element, otherwise, you leave yourself open to fantasy and high expectations, which brings me to tip #3… Any more than that and you’re barking up the wrong tree.
You see, understanding the concept of expectations is probably a love addict’s biggest hurdle. Or do you hate your life because it’s missing a soulmate? Knowing what is driving your desire to date can have a huge impact on WHO YOU CHOOSE to date. You’re not dating out of need or desperation to fill a void.
But I didn’t know it was SO IMPORTANT to me that the relationship would not work if drugs were involved. You need to hold people up to the light and really look at them and not be afraid of what you might see.